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  #1  
Old 06-16-2006, 02:16 AM
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Here is something very funny

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=142238

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We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory.

Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle.

Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car.

Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions.

Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed.

Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery.

Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him.

Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson.

Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players.

Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him.

Alex Smith – He would’ve secretly been grateful for missing the 49ers’ season.

Matt Leinert – He would’ve dropped drastically on the draft chart amidst rumors that he can’t take a hit.

Matt Hasselbeck – He would’ve been embarrassed, because five seconds before the crash he would have predicted that he would beat the car.

Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.

J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying.

Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh.

Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

Steve McNair – He would have walked it off, because Steve McNair is tough, man. He’s really tough. Everyone would have been talking about how tough he is.

Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Charlie Frye – Trent Dilfer would take over the team, win a Super Bowl, and then get benched when Elvis Grbac decided to come out of retirement

Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass.

Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young...

Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday.

Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

Aaron Brooks – would fire Art Shell.

Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all.

Jake Plummer – He wouldn’t have hit the windshield at all, because Broncos only hit in the back.
Too funny, some of these are true too. Ala Mike Vick and Jake Delhomme
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  #2  
Old 06-16-2006, 02:21 AM
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That's awesome!
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  #3  
Old 06-16-2006, 09:03 AM
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This is one of the few threads I've ever seen worthy of a sticky...probably because it wasn't originated here.

Last edited by BucsMAN3K; 06-16-2006 at 09:04 AM..
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  #4  
Old 06-16-2006, 09:13 AM
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Good read but you forgot with Vick a fake drivers license with a certain Name that ends in a certain country south of the US and don't drink the water.

Last edited by MrBeef; 06-16-2006 at 09:14 AM..
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  #5  
Old 06-16-2006, 09:16 AM
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great stuff.

Quote:
Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.
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  #6  
Old 06-16-2006, 09:17 AM
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that is pretty funny...i love the one on peyton manning especially
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  #7  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:05 AM
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For Vick it should of said.

Michael Vick needed to deliver a very important letter, USPS was a wide open option but he decided to keep it on the ground and take it himself
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  #8  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Buccaneer#24
For Vick it should of said.

Michael Vick needed to deliver a very important letter, USPS was a wide open option but he decided to keep it on the ground and take it himself
Stick to making the McNuggets..... thanks.
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  #9  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucFanTexas
Stick to making the McNuggets..... thanks.
Don't confuse him. It's breakfast until 11.
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  #10  
Old 06-16-2006, 10:35 AM
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Hilarious
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  #11  
Old 06-16-2006, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
We all know what happened to Ben - some busted teeth, a lot of blood, and a good chewing out by Bill Cowher. But what would've been the outcomes for other NFL quarterbacks in this situation? Here's my theory.

Drew Bledsoe – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Eli Manning – Archie would have intervened and forced Philip Rivers to get on the motorcycle.

Donovan McNabb – He would have come under scorching criticism from Terrell Owens.

Mark Brunell – He would have thanked God for giving him that wonderful experience and would have tried to baptize the driver of the car.

Brett Favre – He would have received enormous national coverage and sympathy, and then participated in minicamp the following week, throwing seven interceptions.

Brad Johnson – Nobody would have noticed.

Rex Grossman – This is a trick question, because Grossman wouldn’t have been on the motorcycle. He would’ve been at a surgical clinic having arthroscopic surgery.

Josh McCown – Matt Millen would’ve traded for a wide receiver to replace him.

Chris Simms – People would’ve thought he was Brad Johnson.

Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.

Drew Brees – He would’ve been traded or cut because, hey, when you’ve got Reggie Bush you don’t need any other players.

Jake Delhomme – He would have survived and been okay, but people would credit Julius Peppers for saving him.

Marc Bulger – (Long silence). I got nothing. There’s not a single thing about Bulger that’s interesting.

J.P. Losman – He would’ve overshot and missed the car completely.

Daunte Culpepper – Three years ago, he would have crushed the car and kept on going. Now, he would be injured and the driver of the car would have ended up with everything he was carrying.

Chad Pennington – He would’ve been injured. Duh.

Tom Brady – Angels would have descended and saved Tom from harm, and then after the other car stopped, Tom would have climbed into the back seat and given the driver a neck massage to calm her down.

Carson Palmer – Kimo Von Oelhoffen would have been ticketed for an illegal left turn.

Peyton Manning – During his first year back, the NFL would institute a special rule that nobody is allowed to touch Manning, and he only has to say the name of a receiver for it to count as a completed pass.

Vince Young – Pfft. As if anything could hit Vince Young...


Byron Leftwich – He would’ve been okay, but Fred Taylor would have been hospitalized with sympathy pains.

David Carr – He would’ve been fine. He takes harder hits than that every Sunday.

Trent Green – If you think that car would’ve made it past Willie Roaf and Will Shields, you’re crazy.

Philip Rivers – Nobody knows…nobody has any idea at all.

AWESOME!
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  #12  
Old 06-16-2006, 11:33 AM
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So I originally was going to go to the Colts site, find some WR they have with a difficult name, and then make a crack about Peyton's task being tougher than it seems.

But then, I got distracted.



Go Indy.
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  #13  
Old 06-16-2006, 12:30 PM
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I love camels!
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  #14  
Old 06-16-2006, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kress
So I originally was going to go to the Colts site, find some WR they have with a difficult name, and then make a crack about Peyton's task being tougher than it seems.

But then, I got distracted.
I'm sure we can overlook it this time.
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  #15  
Old 06-16-2006, 01:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ColoradoBucsFan
I'm sure we can overlook it this time.
I thought so.
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  #16  
Old 06-16-2006, 01:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BucFanTexas
I love camels!
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  #17  
Old 06-16-2006, 01:56 PM
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Bump.

I just had to re-open the thread to take another look.
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  #18  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:06 AM
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Yea, I can see a lot of these happening lol
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  #19  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:16 AM
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one if the best (off-season) threads. ever.
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  #20  
Old 06-17-2006, 10:23 AM
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That is funny.
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  #21  
Old 06-17-2006, 12:05 PM
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Michael Vick – The media would be commenting on how he face-planted spectacularly, and no other quarterback could’ve done it.
Oh yes I can hear Joe Theisman now
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  #22  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:17 PM
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All of those are great. Top marks to the author
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  #23  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:37 PM
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I don't post much on this board, but I had to with this post. This is freakin hilarious.
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  #24  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:38 PM
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I guess making fun of how he got injured an applying it to other qb's is funny
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